Why Parents Uber

Uber Parenting may have many causes and there are many great books and research articles about what it is, why, and the consequences good or bad. Here are a couple of my theories on why people, especially baby boomers, become or became the Uber parent.

The only child syndrome
Having only one of something always makes it more valuable. When it comes to children you can multiple it by a factor of infinity. Only children are usually spoiled to begin with since there is no other sibling to share mom and dads attention. It is only natural that at least some small amount of Uber Parenting will occur. I believe only children are more likely to be Uber Parented because of the fact there is no one else to parent. I was an only child of a single mother and I can tell you I was extremely ‘Ubered. Pressured about school, mom calling the basketball coach when I didn’t make the team, mom being the team mom of the baseball team all while working 40+ hours per week at the phone company. Mom was also extremely vigilant when it came to my eating habits. Always asking me if I ate or if I’m hungry and wanted something to eat. A lot of times these inquisitions led to full blown arguments.

2 Children household
Three or more children in the household was much more common before and during the baby boomer generation. Five plus children household was not an uncommon occurrence. Nowadays the perfect American Family is 2 children, boy and a girl, a chocolate lab and house in the suburbs. Ok, everything other than the 2 children is optional but the 2 seems to be the goal. I remember after having my second child everyone asked so….are you done? Just as the only child takes more of the parent’s attention, having only 2 kids doesn’t allow for the spreading of attention like it did with those larger families of the days gone by. Therefore, more attention and time can be given to the child and their extracurricular activities.

The single parent
Again, being the product of a single parent I believe my theories are pretty good. Sometimes I felt as though mom may have felt a little guilty about staying married to my father. This was just a perception and by no means a proven fact but I have heard some single mothers say they felt a little guilty for not working hard at their marriage. Being married, I can tell you that it is a lot of work and my wife would tell you it’s even harder for her. This guilt factor could potentially lead to over parenting and feeling a need to always help, ensure success, and always want the best for their children.

Keeping up with the Jones
The most significant impact on Uber Parenting is the American way of life. This need to have as much as or more than your neighbor is most likely the single biggest factor in Uber Parenting. If any of the other theories of mine are present, they get magnified ten fold when you factor in the American Dream. All I have all my life, go to school, get good grades, follow directions and you’ll graduate college and have a successful career. I see it in the media, pre-natal this and gerber your baby with that. I even read an article about parents are scheduling C sections to ensure slots in pre schools.